It was at the bag drop counter I first noticed him standing with his mother. Good looking kid. Maybe it took place in Jacksonville. I’d say about 19 years of age and well built — say, 100kg. All of a sudden, he left his mum and ran around the whole check-in area screaming loudly. He was clearly having fun and in about a minute he was calm again.
When we got on the plane, I notice they (he and his mum) were sitting only a couple of seats away from me. Again all was well. Until the plane started to push backwards away from the terminal. He started to get really agitated like he was terrified of something. Randomly, he would scream loudly and try to get out of his seat and his mum would manage to restrain him.
The moment the plane began to turbo down the runway to take off, he had had enough. He was now screaming really loudly and had removed his seatbelt. His mum was trying to use a stern glare and barking orders at him to get him to calm down. It was too late. He finally overpowered her — still screaming loudly — and jumped out of his seat. He then ran towards the back of the plane, terrifying everyone.
The plane was still ascending at this point so everyone still had their seatbelts fastened.
Cometh The Hour, Cometh The Margaret In Jacksonville
Eventually, a combination of the cabin crew and one passenger managed to bring him back to his seat after something like 10 or 15 minutes. This particular passenger did most of the work restraining him. He’s a big strong kid and by this time he was completely shirtless.
Getting him into his seat was a completely different challenge, though. He just wouldn’t go in. Then a lady passenger came from the front of the cabin, told the cabin crew her name and said ‘this is what I do’. Black braids with traces of gold. Denim shirt. Black leggings. Black and gold Coach sneakers.
She starts to talk to the kid. Reassuring him and holding his hands, rubbing his back and hair. Eventually, he relaxed for long enough to get him in his chair. His mum was completely exhausted at this point. Later on I learnt the lady’s name was Margaret. She had an American accent — it’s drawl not so heavy but surely much closer to Alabama than to New York.
Margaret In Jacksonville
All the while the boy is periodically screaming and needing to be restrained in his chair. The other passenger who brought him back to his seat was still holding him down. But Margaret is pretty much taking charge of the situation now. She does not stop talking to him.
She turned around and asked for mint or chewing gum from the cabin and people were so eager to volunteer. They were clearly impressed, as I was, at a lady taking charge of a really powerful boy who could have lashed out and knocked you out with one blow.
She continues talking to him and rubbing his head. People around can see that her talking to the boy was having some calming effect so they all start to ape Margaret. One of the cabin crew — pretty lady named Charmain — with the softest voice you ever heard this side of Lincoln, is now looking the kid directly in the eyes and telling him it’s ok.
The boy’s mum starts to thank Margaret for her help. One minute Margaret is telling the kid
It’s ok baby
I gatchu baby
It’s scary huh? I know right
And the next minute she’s answering his mum with Oluwa lo se ma. To be an immigrant in the west is to inhabit more than one world at a time. This is no confusion or paralysis. It is dexterity.
Everyone is now aping Margaret, taking turns to gently tell the kid it was all going to be ok. He’s still screaming and trying to get out of his seat but the screams are getting further and further apart. Yours truly locked eyes with the kid once and I found myself giving him the biggest smile I could muster and mouthing It’s going to be ok to him. Everyone now knows his name as well because Margaret made sure to loudly ask his mum who replied and said it was ‘Love’ in one of the Nigerian languages.
So after an hour of flying, the pilot decides we had to return to where we were coming from. He had made the decision to take him back as the remaining 6 hours of the journey could be too disruptive to other passengers if he got badly agitated again. Maybe one or two people murmured and grumbled but most people just accepted it.
Landing was another challenge as he was bound to be terrified by it. The other (Nigerian) guy was still sitting with him the whole time and holding his hands firmly. Margaret went behind him and held his head. Again, not for one minute did she stop talking to him and reassuring him.
He kicked and screamed as we landed to the extent that he was wearing only his boxers by the time the plane came to a stop. But he was held firmly in place. Now and again, she would pass him mentos or peppermints. We landed and there were fire engines and ambulance waiting. The kid got his clothes back on and Margaret and the other guy walked him out with his mum. Margaret carried his bag.
Autism
It’s a very complex disease that I know very little about. But here’s how the Economist described it in a recent briefing report: Jacksonville, Florida
Autism is a complex brain condition, encompassing a broad range of symptoms. These can include discomfort around other people, hypersensitivity to sounds, touch, tastes, smells and light, and obsessive interests. At least a quarter of children with autism do not speak, though some studies put the figure higher. At the other end of the scale are people of average or high intelligence who can live relatively normal lives. Dan Aykroyd, a Canadian comedian, is a notable example.
Autism affects different people in different ways. Some autistics score above average on intelligence tests but struggle to communicate verbally and make compulsively repetitive movements, such as rocking back and forth or flapping their arms. Others have a healthy vocabulary but a low IQ and poor motor control, which can make writing by hand or using a fork difficult. The autism of a particularly high-functioning person might be almost imperceptible, manifesting itself only subtly in an obsessive interest with maps, say, or the merits of different aeroplanes.
The whole report is worth a read. I’d say the kid falls in the category highlighted above. In Jacksonville
But what a virtuoso performance by Margaret. Later on when we were getting our bags, I went over to her and told her I found what she did to be incredibly impressive. It really was a terrifying situation and I would have had no clue how to deal with such a situation if it had been down to me.
The head of the cabin crew (who had been excellent in their own right) came to her and was thanking her in front of everyone and even taking the blame for not being better prepared for it.
Given the plane was full of Nigerians, I consider what Margaret did to be like a punitive tariff on bullshit. A tax or a surcharge if you prefer. Seeing someone who knew what they were doing quickly take charge of the situation surely discouraged any bullshitters from weighing in to try their luck.
Some random guy sitting in seat 64k might have jumped in to try to calm things down and inevitably made things worse. Maybe a prayer session would have started even. Instead, we had everyone remaining calm and only chipping in to do as Margaret was doing. A kind of confidence that she knew exactly what she was doing and this was not her first time of confronting such a situation.
When I went to talk to her later, I asked if she was a doctor and she said no, I’m an occupational therapist. I saw the other man — in a grey GAP hooded top — as he was pushing out his bags and went to say thank you to him as well. But I did not catch his name, sadly.
After the kid and his mum had been taken off the flight, we delayed for another hour before setting off again. The cabin crew then went to get Margaret and the other guy from their seats in economy and ushered both of them into Upper Class.
We made it to our destination around 3 hours late but all’s well that ends well. Now were in Jacksonville, FL
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